The Master Cigarette Lighter (via Andrew)

Get paranoid, Chicago

New improved snakes (now with claws!)

Even Patrick Swayze's brother is no Patrick Swayze

D.C. is home to the biggest boners

Sometimes all you need are three frames

they have travelled from the future to bring you the sounds of recent ghetto past.

awesome karaoke.

We call it crap.

M-I-C (see some real boobs), K-E-Y (why? because we like them), B-O-O-B-S

but how do you jerk off?

That's one brutal cock.

Hey Facebook Mom, I'm not your son. (seriously... I'm not him. hahah)

shave that yeti.

crap link.

The game is broomsticks. (I'm guessing you can win a lengthy vacation in prison.)

methamphetamine inspires ingenuity

Ted Danson knows what love is

World's largest gummy bear (5 lbs of gummy, 12,600 calories)

BUBES (NSFW)

Thundercat Hos!

hot new album.

AGGHHHH! AGHHH!!! AGHHHH!!!!!

also reconsidering my halloween plans.

considering a weave for the first time.

singing for your supper, or breakfast.

poodle grooming.

w4m missed connection: You conducted my STD test and the whole time I thought about how I wanted to f*** you.

Wanted: Baby egg thief

blue light special needs.

i hope this is a teaser for an awesome new video game.

black guy doesn't sell computers in Poland as well as in the US (but the asian stays)

your comprehensive guide to dicks.

Something suspect about this: Shake Weight Exercise for Women (thanks Zofos!)

the ultimate warrior likes to unwind with some fine water colors.

in case you want to draw more attention to your fat ass.

"The front of your cat is a veritable treasure chest of fun."

Best use of iPhone app ever!

i don't wanna bid, because i know i'll be crushed by some richie at the last minute.

don't let gas prices get you down. you can smell like a wasteful dickhead anytime.

How should we make our crappy product look really sexy?

psst! You interested in a flat screen TV?

"Slap bass" doesn't quite do justice to this video.

facebook boss trash talk

finally, science we can use.

Digilegs It wasn't clear why until 0:31.

Ultimate nerd. Ultimate genius.

Have an old-timey gun that needs engraving? Jim Downing is your man.

check, check and... check.

You know what, that tattoo IS pretty funny...

logs, balls, and blindfolds do not mix.

Fatty hides gun in his jellyroll (thanks Dan)

not so sure about that $5 foot-long.

Hey Candy Pants, let's climb the ladder of romance.

Julian Schnabel...the man can paint AND sing.

your mustard's yella.

new adventures in taxidermy.

can't get enough.

the silver lining around mj's demise.

Don't stab the Death Bed!

Boo, Ben Konop. Please wait until 1:25 in. "Go run for mayor somewhere else".

dancingmiminghomorobotbrothersfromthefuture

I really want my own dinosaur.

Hey Patty, I bet that's your husband asking that question.

Douchebag Name Generator

Awesome new video from rock supergroup The Passing Stones

handies.

I'm gonna guess it was his Piping Rock.

Svetlana Levchik, designer extraordinaire.

Rubix Cubewich (solvable in 8 or 10 bites)

Before there was Bob Ross, the world had a much more magic painter.....God.

pet rock.

playing with food.

Australian man huffs gas, bursts into flames after being tazed by cops

People in pizza slice costumes becoming pizzas

namaste.

maybe not the best approach to winning back your man.

tough to argue with this salesman's approach.

I want to die and be reincarnated as one of these.

MJ x EL

new football ritual.

It's finally safe for retarded paranoids to shop online

worse than brokencyde? i think the choreographed crabcore breakdown at 2:59 seals it.

Marrieds love to love each other on FB.

for the sweaty-assed cyclist in your life.

Experience the Helen Keller Simulator

Do you want the laser background for your portrait? Of course you do!

i thought they melted or caught fire.

German Wackness from the late 90s. Double extra NSFW starting at 2:54.

quite simply, one gentleman's quest to find his goddess. somehow i don't think this is the way to go.

Man drunk on mouthwash performs oral sex on unconscious sister

Watch out ladies (RIP MJ)

evidently this is a trend.

flatulence often leads to romance.

MJ Dead Skin Mask

do you like to party?

i can finally celebrate my patriotism.

yes that's really what they called it.

Good advice from the past (especially after a proper soiling)

Farah, Ed, Billy, Sky, and MJ, doing just fine (thanks Bill)

lazy? want pancakes? batter blaster (thanks Joel)

finally, an answer for those living in park slope.

"you're so sexy when you sleep."

We have been monitoring the situation for the last week and came to one conclusion. Arthur Kade, you are a super douche and our hero. Respect!

This just in, Lost photos of Air France Flight 447’s last moments. Nice work Bolivian News Team!

Burger King "blow job" ad dissected

the answer to today's burning news question.

Italian voice guy getting crazy on Fresh Prince of Bel Air

Behold the genius that is Burger King Diamond

Paintings of Obama nude with pancakes, unicorns, and Ugly Better. That is all....

Nude Sports Blog (possibly the crappiest porn ever) NSFW!

Superior Web Solutions (not compatible with Firefox) (turn up the sound)

meatatarians unite!

it's true, autotune is everywhere.

"larping" is definitely not a new sexual maneuver.

"gallery of regrets"

What do you call a hot dog stand in a church?

best detention slip ever

i've heard of man hands, but the dreaded "penistoe thumb?"

The Complete Social Media Douchbag

"i am my mother."

Obie Fernandez has some Facebook Issues.

athletes not getting laid despite being stars of the latest major sporting craze.

Mmmmmmm....bologna

Crazy rabbit lady just doesn't have the same ring to it.

whacko announcer finishes goals with movie quotes. "score! you did the motorboat didn't you?!"

Amazing Misdemeanor

Can I get a few STARS ON MY FACE

recession got you down? there is work out there. and i DO mean "out there."

Celebrities Upside Down James Earl Jones and Jennifer Aniston are definite highlights.

The Nipple Bra

better than a bedroom DJ

finally, the comprehensive guide to asians.

maintain your dignity, y'all. but does it hold wet wipes?

sketchy.

ohio news station reports just the bear facts.

top o' the muffin to YOU!

shouldn't be hard to spot THIS guy.

Sweden got talent

and the winner of dumb face tattoos somehow is NOT the earth crisis guy.

heavy metal parrot.

Bret Michaels gets upstaged by backdrop

Interactive, walk around, and look at awesome boobs game

creepy dude offed by dog.

Strata Management says no to animals

My friend Erikkka's future husband.

The autobiography of Joseph L. Monzo

also like pringles? horrible rappers.

dance moves.

unicorns are like pringles, i couldn't have just one.

literal video.

i've heard of mailbox baseball, but come on.

latest trend in biking / rapping and video games.

jewcats.

circus bears.

oldie but goodie: orson wells hocking champagne.

Pop Stache

everything you want in a movie.

just gonna state the facts here: eastern european tranvestite rap.

The deposit link is the only link you need. (thanks Jesse!)

bacon + vodka, together at last (via Hatti)

finally the snuggie has some competition.

brady's keeping it gully, son.

no shame, old man

meat panties.

Those without brothority need not apply

Cat Workouts. Work it

Did someone blink?

How to play slots

Max Skate Bike!

For crying out loud! (Thanks Lilli)

bald presidents

feel good song of the summer.

Playing Contra while rocking Contra (Thanks Smith!) Check the DVD.

Where to go on your next trip.

100% Terrible Injuries

Can't we all just get along? Yes we can!

in case you needed to know EXACTLY where to get that dildo.

canadian knife aficionados take on the cops.

nothing brings out the christmas spirit like king diamond.

don't matter just don't bite it.

Find me the mothers responsible for this. I need an explanation.

Sucklebeast 3000!

Headbanging while making fire.

eye whisperer.

think twice before call that i.t. guy.

Jar of Uranium Ore on Amazon? Seriously, what can't you buy on the internetz these days?

everybody out, pool's closed

Captain's Log

playing with food.

wet pockets, though?

Introducing... The Cuchini. (Safe for work, if your work doesn't mind you looking at camel toes.)

i always said they were a buncha clowns...

Dareway? Segway for kids? Sounds like a challenge. The kind that ends with lawsuits.

Better than drunk dialing? Texts from last night.

puff your way to national fiscal security.

Escalator travels with keyboard cat accompaniment.

Hit and Run

seriously hott pants

California girl beats off two muggers with marching band baton